It's a simple
fact: sex changes as we age. When we're young we have tons
of energy but no experience. Once we're older we gain that
experience, but trade off the 'rabbit response' (well some
of us do). But there's a lot more to it than just that.
Many things
affect us as we age, both physical and psychological.
Hormonal changes can alter our levels of sexual desire over
various stages of life. Testosterone production can decrease
with various health conditions as well as being the side
effect of many heart and blood pressure medications. In
these cases it's not the age that matters, but the hormone
testosterone that needs to be replenished. Replace the
testosterone, and many men see reinforced sex drive and
penile performance.
Your energy
levels also change over time. When you are a teenager with
'raging hormones' you experience sex at different energy
levels than what you experience in your mid fifties.
Although the style of sex may change, as well it probably
should if just for safety reasons, the quality can even
increase as we better learn our bodies' responses (and those
of our partners).
Not only do our
bodies change over time, but a lifetime of experiences can
change what sex means to us over time, and at various stages
in our lives. It's natural to feel changes to how we view
sex, and what we get out of it. But while some things
change, others remain steady. Our family and friends, who
helped mould us as we grew, helped seed many values and
beliefs that we carry through adulthood into our elder
years.
Looking into
the past, today's seniors and even our later-middle-age
group grew up in different times than we all currently live
in. The differences between those days and modern times are
simply huge. Values, beliefs, and social attitudes have
drastically changed, and so have many of our attitudes
towards sex and sexuality.
For
example, women who grew up pre-1950 are totally familiar
with the effects of sexual discrimination. Where some of
these women made it through the social barriers, there
were still professional and even legal barriers that
discriminated against them.
These early
experiences had a lasting impact on how this generation
viewed sex, what they got out of sex, and even what they
used sex for. Younger generations have grown up with a
different set of messages, and will definitely affect their
attitudes towards sex differently as they age.
Basically,
there are more than just physical changes that affect sex as
we age. The social and psychological influences in our lives
also affect the quality of sex as we age, as do our
relationships. Marriages and committed relationships also
change our outlook on sex. The good news is that we are
programmed to keep performing well into our later years, if
at a slower rate than before. The secret is in keeping
healthy and active.
Use
if or lose it – sexual maintenance
It's the same
with sex as it is with anything else, if you don't use it,
you'll lose it. The big key to maintaining your sexual
performance is just like physical fitness of any other kind,
repeat your performance regularly, and your body responds by
keeping you fit for the task. So the best way to maintain
your sexual capacity as you age is to just keep having sex!
Easier said
than done, you say? Not really, when you consider all the
help that's available through both modern medical science
and from what we know about the psychology of sex. What if
your partner is unavailable? Self-stimulation (masturbation)
is common and poses no health risks or side effects.
A couple of
other considerations should include appropriate positions,
adequate use of foreplay, medications, and permanent medical
conditions.
Appropriate
positions
Conditions
like early arthritis are a reality for many folks, even in
their middle years. If physical discomfort is an issue for
you, consider looking into different sexual positions that
may improve the situation. A little research in this area
can be very fruitful, especially when you can discover a new
position that satisfies both partners while still being
comfortable for both. Here's a quick tip: try putting
pillows or cushions under the hips…
Adequate foreplay
Issues like
vaginal dryness can make many women partners unresponsive,
even when they wish otherwise. By spending a little more
time on foreplay many of these issues can be passed by.
Using lubes or creams can increase lubrication, making
sexual contact more welcome, and even more exciting, as the
application of these products can act as a form of foreplay
all on its own. Some of these have been specifically
formulated with herbal sexual stimulant formulas added in
(products such as Vigorelle) which can add even further
dimensions.
Medications
Many medications can have a negative effect on testosterone
production, which can drastically reduce men's sex drive and
penile performance regardless of age. Other medications can
also affect sexual performance and libido. Although drugs
like Viagra have been created to help with erectile
dysfunction, many heart and blood-pressure medications (like
nitroglycerine) interact very badly with drugs like Viagra,
even resulting in heart attack in some cases. To avoid
problems, look to alternatives like asking your physician to
prescribe a different class of medication, or look into
herbal treatments like VigRX that have few (if any) side
effects and are safe to use with most heart medications.
Permanent
medical conditions The effects of physical alterations due
to illness or surgeries (e.g. colostomies, mastectomies,
etc.) can affect sexual performance. In these cases
communication with your partner becomes important to help
remove feelings of guilt, embarrassment, or fear, which can
often have further reaching effects than the procedures
themselves.
To sum it up,
there are differences in how we approach sex and how we
engage in sex as we age, but there are also benefits.
Experience and education can get us much more out of our
later sexual experiences, and as long as we're physically
careful, and tend to our sexual health, partners can
continue to have satisfying sex well into their senior
years.
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